This is still not a food blog, I assure you.
This is still not a food blog, I assure you.
After walking for more than 30 minutes, she entered a town’s area. The town is fortified by a wall, and there are guardsmen in the town’s gate. However–
“Whoa! She wears a lion!”
Haruna wore clothes of a face up snarling lion. The watchmen had never seen such fashion before, so they saw her as a warrior.
“You must be a veteran warrior…”
“What a show of absolute confidence…”
“You’re exaggerating~ I do remember that one time when I chased a purse snatcher on bicycle, but I just managed to hit him around. He was half crying just by being chased by a bicycle, though. What a wimp.”
The watchmen didn’t understand anything about that story, but they understood that this person was dangerous anyway.
“Welcome, please come in. Or rather, we will escort you to the adventurer’s guild!”
“Oh my, are you escorting me? Thank you so much~”
Inside the guild, fierce-looking men gathered around, but even they were shaken by the sight.
“Why would she wear a lion’s face…?”
“Is she a woman warrior….?”
“But she doesn’t have any weapons on her…”
“A man who hunts a panther will keep its fur. Is it something like that…?”
Clothes with lions were considered ominous in their culture.
Usually, when a young woman enters the adventurer’s guild, there’ll be people who make vulgar comments. But now, no one acts like that.
“It’s stuffy inside… Hm… I should strip a layer…”
Underneath the lion clothes, she actually wore clothes depicting a panther.
“Are you serious?!”
“That woman is dangerous!”
“That’s a woman who hunts lions and wears them!”
“What’s this? Talking about a person who’s present, all of them are so uncivilized.”
Haruna went to the woman who worked as the information clerk.
“Hello, I want to ask a few questions.”
“Y-yes… how may I help you…?”
“Where’s the train station in this area?”
“Train station? Let’s see… from Honored Guest’s outfits, it seems that you’ve transmigrated from another world (tensei)…”
“I’ve never heard Tensei station before. Ah, there should be a train line from Tokyo called Kensei. Is this Nippori?”
“Or is this Ueno? Is there a panda in the zoo? Well, there’s more of them in Wakagawa though. Should they give one over here?”
“Ah, pardon me… There seems to be a lot of things you haven’t figured out. Please let me tell you about them!”
Since Haruna seemed to know nothing, Rufa the information clerk intended to teach her about various things. In a different room, Rufa explained a lot of matters of this world in simple, concise words.
“So there’s no takoyaki, (Hanshin) Tigers, or shops that sell pufferfish?”
“There’s none of those things… Excuse me, Haruna. It doesn’t seem like you have any relatives either, so I think you should live as an adventurer. Since you can beat orcs with bare hands, I think you have talent in this.”
“An adventurer? In other words, it would be good if I register here, no? It feels like you’re soliciting me.”
“But it’s hard to find a place who’ll hire someone without any relatives.”
“Well, that’s true. Well then, how much will it cost?
“It’ll be 2 silver coins. Though, it’s all right to do it once you’re able to pay for it.”
“I have gemstones, though.”
Haruna lined up the gemstones she took out from her bag.
“There’s quite a lot! These could amount to 50-60 gold coins, probably. Since you could convert them in the Guild, please use our service.”
“Then, I’ll pay for it afterwards~ By the way, it’s 2 silver coins, right?”
“That is correct.”
“Could you please lower it to one silver coin?”
For the time being, Haruna tried to haggle the price.
“Eh? That’ll put me in trouble!”
“It’s okay, it’s okay. We’re both girls~”
“I… understand… one silver coin…”
Rufa still couldn’t get over the fact that she was haggled. She was bewildered.
“If you call out ‘Open Status’, you’ll know your current level. Since no one else can see that, you could tell me the numbers. I’ll be able to offer you some advice then.”
“Then I’ll leave it you. Open Status!”
Magic: Fire Magic・Wind Magic (Rokko Northern Wind)・Healing Magic (Hotel Grand New Awaji)・Benishouga Tempura Magic・Umeda Dungeon-building Magic・Simple Dimension Manipulation (candy-like will come out from bag)
Other: Billiken’s Divine Protection: Poison Nullification・Paralyze Nullification. Anti-Titan: attacking against Titan will always be Critical Hit.
Haruna told her status to Rufa.
“What’s that Benishouga Tempura magic?!”
“I don’t understand it either. It must be some form of magic.”
Lately, there are a lot of street soba stalls in Tokyo which offer benishouga (pickled red ginger) tempura.
“No, putting that aside, don’t you think the dungeon-building magic afterwards is even weirder!? The only one who has that skill is the Demon King! No, rather, is that even supposed to be magic?”
“My, I did hear a lot of people complaining about how similar Umeda’s underground floor is to a dungeon.”
“And also, what’s with that Boke and Tsukkomi status? There’s nothing ordinary about that!”
“Oh my, but Rufa-chan, you’ve been doing tsukkomi properly, right? We can be orbited as a comic duo.”
“A, anyway… You’re really strong! Absurdly strong!”
“Anyhow, do you happen to know of a place where I can stay tonight?”
“Yes, I’ll tell you about that too. But, before that, let’s convert the gemstones.”
After converting the gemstones, she obtained 65 gold coins.
Somehow, it seemed like she could pay her living cost for a short while.
“Well, it should be all right to go to this place called dungeon tomorrow.”
Oh my GOD they have boke and tsukkomi level LMFAO. Nice. Reading LNs means you have a grasp of the meaning of these terms, but just google it if you don’t. (lol)
Is it the orc spanking that earns this auntie a 1 star in NU? And in this chapter, we have another peek on how an Osaka auntie looks/acts like~ lmfao.
Feedback and appreciation are always welcome~
The second chapter!
I might not be able to churn out chapters daily later on, so enjoy while you can.
Feedback is awesome.
I’m on a roll! Not much to say because my mom cooks crabs and I really want to dig on it, so cya guys!
Feedbacks and stuffs are appreciated~
Phew! This is definitely a harder job than Okonomiyaki Auntie. My head is spinning from figuring out the meaning that I have to give up and use MT in the last moments. By the way, copy-pasting to GT is more accurate than translation per page. Huh. I never realize it.
If you check from time to time, you’ll see that I fix some typos or other mistakes in silence (lol).
A casual clover for this series’ symbol. I hope you enjoy it~
When I realized, I was already writing! Incidentally, the writer is also from Kansai (Kobe 18 years, Kyoto 6 years).
“Ah~ the truck’s sudden appearance is really dangerous~ What if I’m hurt— eh, this place, where is it?” Haruna realized that she fell on a grass thicket by herself. It was clearly not Tennouji in Osaka that she was located before.
“What is this…? My clothes are the same, but my voice, isn’t it too high?” Moreover, her hands had become delicate and pretty. The blemish on her skin disappeared. So did the wrinkles.
Somehow, the strangest thing had happened. Haruna thought instinctively. Since there was a puddle of water nearby, she tried peeking on its surface.
It showed the face of a young woman.
“Ah! Have I returned to my high school years?! No, it’s even cuter than how I used to be! Such a beautiful girl!”
That being said–
She had a feeling that someone called herself a goddess just then. Haruna finally recalled the scene.
“Haruna Murata, you’re an auntie from Osaka, right?”
“From what I’ve gathered, it seems that auntie from Osaka is the strongest human on earth.”
‘The strongest human would be a martial artist, isn’t it~?‘, Haruna obviously came into that kind of thought.
“True, being 45 years born and grow up in Osaka, I have no objection about being an auntie from Osaka. However, isn’t it falling short of being the strongest?”
“That’s not true! Based on Goddess’ detailed investigation, the result clearly shows that your type is the strongest!” the goddess’ voice went higher as she emphasized the point.
“As the strongest being, I’m thinking that I should let you reborn as a woman knight, the strongest in different world (isekai).”
“The strongest in Shinsekai?” Haruna misheard.
There’s an area called Shinsekai in Osaka’s Tsutenkaku.
“There’s an uncle who opens a splendid kushikatsu shop there. I definitely can’t win against him. To be strongest in Shinsekai would definitely be hard.”
“I almost never let a middle-aged woman to be reborn, even though I don’t know why either,” the goddess said.
“Well, it’s alright, though. In Shinsekai, right? If I do that, I can still go back home by train. It’s alright, please bring me there right away,” Haruna said.
“…Oh, my. I think there’s a misunderstanding (gokai) here…”
“I don’t mind fifth floor (gokai) or sixth floor, I can still go back home by subway train. It’s better than standing still right here. I’ve bought 661’s pork buns, it’ll get cold if I’m not home soon.”
There’s a famous shop in Osaka called 661 where you can by pork buns (meat buns) and ice candies.
“A-anyway! I need you to do a mission of spreading okonomiyaki in different world!”
“The food situation in this world isn’t really good… Since there are carbohydrate, vegetables, and meat in okonomiyaki, the situation will definitely improve. It will spread! Just in case, I’m also turning you into a really beautiful girl!”
–And thus, Haruna was reborn in different world. It wasn’t Shinsekai either, obviously.
“It’s good to become young again, but where is this place, exactly? It’s obviously not Shinsekai. Ah~ But I can see a tower just like the one in Tsutenkaku.”
That is the castle that belongs to the area’s Boss.
“Oh, my purse should be in the bag. Eh? It’s not here! But there’s a candy. So she has the time to go shopping in the Treasure Supermarket.”
Treasure Supermarket (suupaa tamate) is a bargain supermarket in Osaka.
“Somehow, there’s no direction sign at all. If only Yodo river is visible, I can figure out where this is.”
Suddenly, Haruna felt a sense of discomfort. There were many figures surrounding her. That was a group of orcs, numbering more than 10.
A lone person lying on grass thicket would clearly be an easy prey. Moreover, a delicate girl without any weapon on sight. There was no way the orcs would miss this.
More or less, the auntie from Osaka was cute in her youth. But as the years piled up one upon another, she also became more and more like an auntie. Theoretically speaking, one might say that it was caused by “auntie hormones”. If she didn’t become a strong auntie, there was no way she could survive in Osaka.
“Eh? Could it be flirts (nanpa)? Don’t they gather around Dotonbori? It must be because I’ve become pretty, isn’t it?”
It had been 25 years since someone flirted with her, Haruna became rather tense. Those past flirt incidents became something she could boast about, even though she rejected them. ‘Someone flirted with me’, that kind of thing.
“But all of these people are Mr. Pigs. Ah, could it be they’re angry that I bought pork buns from 661 shop?”
“Oink-!” Unsheathing their blades, the orcs did a tsukkomi. They must have wanted to voice their light threats.
Since those were similar to cutlery, even someone like Haruna grasped what was going on.
Countering the blades, Haruna beat the orc with her right hand.
The hit orc flew to the distance.
“What are you doing?! It’s dangerous to wave around your sharp tools! Ttai!”
Ttai–this was the cry that an auntie from Osaka let out when she scolded children. In the other area, it might be equivalent to “Meh!”
“You could play more safely like this.” With her hands, Haruna made a gun shape which she pointed to the orcs. “Pew pew!”
In Osaka, there’s a rule to pretend to die or be in pain in a setting where a gun is “shot” at you.
The orcs couldn’t understand. Or rather, there was no such thing as guns in this world.
“Oh, you, Mr. Pigs! What a bad feeling! You couldn’t do it!”
Haruna’s tsukkomi chops countered twice and two orcs were also sent flying. It’s not a stretch to call it one-hit KO.
“You all need proper scolding! Expose your butts! Children who’re like gonta need spanking!”
Gonta has a meaning of a thug, useless fellow.
Haruna repeatedly spanked the orc’s butts.
Even after forcing absurdly huge amount of strength, the orc still couldn’t move.
Frightened, the other orcs notices that overwhelming Attack power. This is the type they must not make enemies with. The Attack power is bizarre. This woman adventurer is clearly a cheat.
In that spot, the orcs were all bowing their heads down. There was no other option but surrender.
“Is that an apology? Should I allow you forgiveness~?”
The orcs put out quite a lot of gems as a gesture to save their lives.
“Oh, for me? Then I’ll gratefully accept them. These gemstones are as precious as the pearls I bought on my vacation by Kintetsu route to Ise, aren’t they~?”
You can go by limited express from Osaka to Ise through Kintetsu route; it’s quite a pleasant experience to go from Kansai to Ise.
Putting a piece in her ring, Haruna took out her hand. “How is it? Like Kobe?”
In Osaka, “like Kobe” means “you have a good fashion sense”.
Obviously, it can’t be conveyed to the orcs at all.
“What, really, Mr. Pig. What a bad feeling. I might put you all as okonomiyaki toppings.”
“Oi-oink…” Hearing a somewhat (really) scary line, the orcs felt frightened.
“Ah~ I feel hungry now. Is there any food shop around here?” She had been looking, but there was only grassland around her.
“This place is extremely rural. Somehow it’s like Nara.”
In Osaka, there are strangely a lot of cases where Nara is being looked down. However, there are indeed cases such as Kintetsu route where the trains are passing through the countryside as they enter Nara; this way of thinking is probably caused by such experience.
“Hey, Mr. Pig, do you happen to know a town?”
The orc’s finger pointed towards the nearest town.
“Thank you. Bye now, I’ll be going that way~” Haruna leisurely went towards the town’s direction.
“Well, once arriving at the town, let’s travel by train.”
Next chapter, auntie from Osaka, going to the guild!
There’s probably around 5 chapters before the okonomiyaki part starts, please be patient until then!
It starts with Author’s Notes, and there are in-line explanation which are also tsukkomi as well, I think. (lol) I find them amusing. And informative. I can’t translate the kanji puns, though, so when it appears I’ll show the Romaji where you can try to see where it was supposed to be funny. (ack)
Haruna (the auntie from Osaka) is talking in light Kansai-dialect. I’m not good at translating accent due to my limited English, I hope you don’t mind that there’s no difference than standard English.
Feedback and appreciation are always welcome~
Right, I decided to do so on a whim. The regularity might depend on how much feedback I get. Right now, the title I’m picking up is:
Anyway, I’m still looking for other isekai trip/reincarnation web novels to translate (JP), within these categories:
The title I picked up fulfills two of the sweet spots, so yeah. As for the third, I might consider writing an original web novel if I’m inspired enough.
Bring me good news, guys!